The Golden Globes Ugly Cocktail

There is a right time to risk it and… celebrities thought it was in the 2000s at the Golden Globes ceremony. Some of the fashion icons of today started the day firing their stylists, throwing caution away and grabbing the first wacky thing they found in the closet.

Everything but to be a bore, right? Wrong! Some of these beauties should have gone with a safer choice, instead of ending up on every fashion editor’s black list. Like in a bad cocktail, we had it all: olives, lemons, cherries, sweet, sour and salty with a bit of blue curacao in the middle (aka the one thing in cocktails I never get).

 

Diane Kruger, 2005

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/diane-kruger-during-the-62nd-annual-golden-globe-awards-news-photo/105562281

This gorgeous lady, a dear girl of Karl’s, went all Arabian Nights here. Gold, brown, satin and… do I spot gold coins here and there?! The asymmetry, hairstyle, bracelets and sandals… what’s up with those? All, reminiscent of different eras in one outfit.

Thank God Diane woke up from that fashion nightmare!

 

Jessica Alba, 2002

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/jessica-alba-during-the-59th-annual-golden-globe-awards-news-photo/105025589

This was a complete fail for Jessica Alba. Where should I start? A white suit in itself is a pretty cool and modern outfit these couple of years, but not like this: sleeves too long, vest on skin, low-waist for dressy pants…

Can we talk about the make-up?! It’s as if she decided the look was too white and racoon eyes were desperately needed.

Lana Del Rey, 2015 

So far, we’ve seen celebrities fail in the early 2000s. But Lana went south with this look just last year. As much as I love her songs, I can’t close my eyes and forget this mermaid-look.

If somebody had told her redheads don’t have to be Ariel when they grow up, this pleated walking disaster would have been avoided.

Beyonce, 2003

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/beyonce-knowles-during-the-60th-annual-golden-globe-awards-news-photo/130068359

And now, the dreadful 2003. This was a horrible year for stars, fashion-wise at least. Nine years ago, the night of the Golden Globes became Friday 13th for Beyonce and the following actresses.

Queen Bey took her prom gown to the awards, resembling a Disney princess with a broken curling iron instead of wand.

Sharon Stone, 2003

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/sharon-stone-during-the-60th-annual-golden-globe-awards-news-photo/105025350

Like I said, 2003 caused massive casualties. One of them was Sharon Stone who, in an attempt to be more provocative than in “Basic Instinct”, forgot her bra at home. Worst, she tried her hand at a DIY and ended up with a dress made of trash bags.

Thankfully, Stone took a 180 degree turn in the past couple of years and we forgot all about it. Well, I tried!

Sarah Jessica Parker, 2003

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/sarah-jessica-parker-during-the-60th-annual-golden-globe-news-photo/104892887

Lastly, many women’s muse, SJP (who we’re still calling Carrie, of course), took Jessica Alba’s outfit inspiration and… made it worse. She opted for a satin black suit, made up of pants and goth corset. Stripes of cloth falling from her shoulders and corset, weird rose keeping it all together, boobs squashed like in the 19th century… the works.

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